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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

lord of the rings (hokkien version)


So the new Lord of the Rings movie is coming out...for those who dun really
understand the "chim" language used or who've missed the movie, here is an
easy to understand guide to J.R.R. Tolkein's trilogy, written specially in
the Singlish conversational style:

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

Last time got this short-short person with si-beh hairy legs called Bilbo,
lor. He, hor, got this ring that last time belong to some monster. But
then, hor, one day suay-suay the monster want it back, and send his kah kiah
to Bilbo's house to settle, lah.

But the ring, hor, acherly can make people very powderful. But then, hor, if
you wear too long will also kena sai. Si beh hiong one, so better faster go
and destroy it, lor.

So Bilbo's nephew Frodo. Aiyah, dun ask me why their name all so funny, can
or not? You ask me, I ask who?

Anyway, Frodo and some peng yew kena arrow to go and destroy the ring. But
donno why also, they must do it in the monster's home, which is at the end
of New Zealand there. So they walk and walk and walk across New Zealand,
lah. And then along the way, got monster chase them, got people want to hoot
them, some of them died, all sorts of thing, lah.

At the end, Frodo and Sam, his pooi-pooi friend, got separated from the
rest.

THE TWO TOWERS

Frodo and Sam meet up with this thing called Gollum, who look like he take
too much Slim 10 like that. At the same time, hor, the other friends get
into some powderful hooting session, where, wah lau eh, even the trees can
do gongfu one. They all fight over what, I also
donno, but quite kan cheong, lah.

THE RETURN OF THE KING

In the end, Frodo and his peng yew all win leow, lah. A-ba-then?


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